Ho‘oponopono

Forgiveness is a conscious choice to release feelings of resentment, revenge, or anger towards a person who has “done you wrong” or towards yourself for something you beat yourself up about. Forgiveness sets us free to live in the present and helps heal us of our pain. But we all know that this is not the easiest task. Sometimes we vow to never forgive or forget, even if it means punishing ourselves or another forever and hardening our hearts in the process. 

To not forgive, is to tie up your energy in the past,  holding you back from truly enjoying life, and draining your heart of potential joy. Your ego and your pain may believe this is a price worth paying because the person or yourself is not worthy of forgiveness,  but I am here to tell you, everyone is worthy of forgiveness and compassion and that your peace and wellbeing is more important than vengeance. 

When we choose to not forgive and instead hold a grudge, it can lead to feeling depressed or anxious, a loss of connectedness with others, and can spread anger and bitterness into other relationships.

Forgiveness does not excuse the harm done, but it releases you from the control of the harmful experience. Forgiveness is a courageous choice for a peaceful heart and an opportunity to move on with life.

Benefits of forgiveness: decreased depression and anxiety, lower blood pressure, stronger immune system, improved self-esteem, and freedom to love more fully. 

I practice an ancient Hawaiian prayer meditation called Ho’oponopono, to assist me in forgiveness. 

Ho’oponopono means “to make right” or clean the slate. (Pronounced: Ho. Oh. Po. No. Po. No.) It purifies the body and mind by clearing bad memories and feelings of negativity or stress. This practice helps to heal and reconcile relationships with ourselves and others by accepting responsibility and realizing our inner-connectedness. 

This is one of my favorite meditations because it’s just four simple steps: repentance, forgiveness, gratitude, and love. Once you learn the four steps and phrases, you can practice this ancient healing prayer at any time you need to forgive and immediately feel the healing effects in the mind, body, and heart.

Start by grounding your energy, relaxing the body, and placing one or both hands over the heart. Visualize a relationship or situation you are seeking to forgive or heal (if it is yourself, picture yourself). With your breath, bring a warm golden light into your heart space and repeat the below four phrases: I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.

“I’m sorry” –  Realize that you are responsible for everything in your life, even if someone else did something to you, take control by feeling sorry for the wrong that occurred and for holding onto hateful emotions.

“Please forgive me” Ask for forgiveness. Doesn’t matter who you are asking forgiveness from, just ask for it. Forgive everything that you feel sorry for, from the past, from yourself and others.

 “Thank you” – Call in gratitude into your heart. Feel appreciation for everything in your life. You don’t have to thank someone specifically, but a general sense of anything and anyone you are thankful for. Keep saying thank you until you feel immense gratitude.

“I love you” Love, the most powerful emotion. Encourage this high vibrational emotion to take over your entire body as you feel love for everything and everyone. Say it to yourself, say it to the person you are forgiving, say it to your breath, etc. Repeat the phrase until you genuinely feel the warmth and tingling energy in your heart. 

Repeat as many times as you feel called to do so, or until you feel peace in your heart.